I tried an experiment with my last couple of columns, as part of my decision to speak up and be more visible. I decided to post the columns on my personal Facebook page, which meant that they would be shown to my Facebook friends if they wanted to read them.
I’m relatively new to Facebook, and I only have about 150friends,butsincemymove toBanderatheyincludeagood number of right-leaning folks as well as the left-leaners I brought along from the cities I have lived in. I thought I might be taking a risk with my Bandera friends, since many of them are horse friends and might never have read my political columns in the Bulletin. Somecommentersevencalled me “brave” for making myself more visible in an 80/20 red Texas county.
Well, I’ll be darned if that experiment didn’t lead me to the Missing Link! Meaning I received a thoughtful and articulate comment from one of myRepublicanfriendsthathas been inspirational to me in my searchfortheelusivecommon ground that people at either political extreme never seem to be aware of, much less visit once in a while. I obtained permission to quote from this comment, which was made in response to my most recent column on the importance of due process.
“I am a registered Republican and business owner. I want the “swamp drained”, I also want the checks and balances of our founding fathers and our legal system to keep working. Trump is shaking things up! That is what I voted for. I DID NOT vote for a President to be king. I expect thePublictopushbackifANY government tramples our Constitution…Let’s be loud and help keep him focused and legal about keeping our country great.”
In other words, you don’t have to turn against Trump completely, you just have to remind him that there are guard rails. Contrast this with the more MAGA-flavored comments that basically say, “AnythingTrumpdoesisright, so if somebody tries to stop him, they are wrong.” One of my commenters accused me of regurgitating left-wing talking points and then posted a list titled “Facts”, which consisted entirely of right-wing talking points such as “The 2020 election was stolen.” Asked about the 60 lawsuits filed and rejected for lack of evidence of election fraud, my commenter stated that these decisions came from rogue judges who were corrupt and should be impeached. Not muchcommongroundinthat conversation!
Another example of the search for common ground comes from a conversation with my sister that occurred severalyearsago.Mysisterand I usually avoid political discussions since we sit on opposite sides of the political fence, even more pronounced since she is a conservative Republican living in the bright blue state of New Jersey while I’m a left-leaning Independent in good old cherry-red Texas.
She was complaining about the Governor of New Jersey bringing a lawsuit to force the elementary school her granddaughter attended to allow what she called “a boy in a skirt” to use the girls’ bathroom. She said her granddaughter was scared about encountering boys in the restroom. I noted how ironic it was that in my state the Governor was trying to prevent transgender girls (“boys in skirts”) from using the girls’ bathroom. Trying to force it, trying to forbid it, nobody ends up satisfied. Later, it dawned on me to imagine the experience of the “boy in a skirt.” How do you think s/he might feel about being forced to use the boys’ bathroom? Can you imagine the terror? Why do our solutions have to hurt any of our children?
I called my sister back and said I believed the best solution was the simplest: schools should provide a one-seat, locking bathroom open to anyone. She said she agreed totally and just resented the idea of the state forcing an extreme solution on the schools. I couldn’t agree more!
Legislators need to be reminded that their constituents don’t necessarily inhabit the outer reaches of political party extremism. My sister and I, for example, grew up in the same family, only two years apart in age. Many factors may have led us to opposite sides of the great divide represented by our political parties, but we are not that different.
My point is that ordinary people may not have the complex political experience and (possibly cynical) approach to problem-solving that our representatives have, at least after a few years in office, but we have something much more important: real lives in real neighborhoods with a variety of friends and diversity even within our own families. We want to get along and we understand eachothermuchbetter when we see each other as real human beings rather than ideologues who would throw the other guy overboard if it meant a win for the party line.
Susan Hull is a retired clinical psychologist, a horse trainer and an Independent voter. She believes that any reforms, whether immigration, campaign finance, health care or whatever, need to be approached with a commonsense understanding of how ordinary people want to live in peace and safety.
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