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To serve others, you must be served

October 13, 2021 - 05:00
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The best advice I ever received about being able to serve others in our culture is to actually ask them to serve you first.

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

It sounds like it goes against what the Bible teaches but here’s what happens: if I’m the new guy in the neighborhood and I try to do something for my neighbors as a way to serve them and get to know them, we unintentionally put them in the position of needing to return the favor; they owe us.

But, if you ask them to help you first, you are now in the position of owing them a favor. You still get to know them, a relationship with the neighbor can start and it will be easier to serve them when opportunities arise.

I’m still the new person in my tiny, rural neighborhood and did a terrible job meeting the neighbors. One of the couples are descendants of the original family that settled the area and are steeped in traditions of the old ways. I decided to deliver some cookies as we got close to Christmas two years ago and had put plates of them in three neighbor’s mailboxes with cards and a note with my contact information to introduce myself. One neighbor didn’t find theirs until after something had eaten them by that summer. I had put them in the wrong mailbox. The wife called, mortified they hadn’t said thank you for the tiny gift they never received and the game was on. The phone call had at least opened the door for me to drop in the next time I saw them outside. Caught unprepared, the wife excused herself, went inside and came out with a jar of apple butter she had made back in the fall. After a trip home to vis it family, I brought a box of cookies unique to Canada. I left with their moon-phase guide to planting a garden. Having learned she couldn’t eat much sugar, I came with some unique snacks. I left with a wooden wagon planter from her porch.

Finally, a couple weeks ago, I was getting ready for another trip home to Ontario when my mower died and left me scrambling to get away in time with my valid covid test for the border. I needed help and was able to ask my neighbor if he could cut my grass. My hope is that by finding myself in real need of help, this has broken the cycle of gift-giving and opened the door to where they won’t mind asking me for help when the time comes.

In the sport of rodeo, we’re actually really good at helping each other but what other communities are we a part of and how can we find ways to build connections that let us serve other people we interact with every day?